Preschool Changed My Life

By Jen Piwtpitt - 9:06 AM

Think this might sound overly dramatic?  It’s not.  Immediately after dropping my son off on his first day, changes began to happen.  While some have been more dramatic than others, largely it’s been a hugely positive experience.

1. (Truly, I think the biggest deal).  Did you know there were shows for adults on TV during the day?!?  I seem to remember something vaguely about The Today Show from before my kids joined this world, but the memory is hazy, so I’m not really sure.  In any case, there are actually programs on air during daytime hours that do not involve dancing rodents or singing pirates.  I know.  I KNOW.  I’ll wait for a minute while you wrap your head around this one…
2.  Good now?  Okay, so then we picked my son up and made it back home.  I was sitting there, watching my kids eat lunch and my daughter happily sucking on her sippy cup.  All of the sudden I was filled with an overwhelming sense of “Screw this”.  I got up, marched out to the kitchen and threw away all of the baby bottles and pacifiers.  For approximately 30 seconds until the plastic kid bowls magically shifted themselves over to the newly available realty, I had a small corner of space in my kitchen cupboards.  I think the magnitiude of acing out the first day of school kind of just had a ripple effect with inspiring other significant life changes.
3.  My son told me at preschool that he jumped off a blue mushroom.  It is possible that he was talking about some play structure at the preschool’s playground.  It is also possible that my 3 yr. old is now on drugs.
Crap.  Is he on hallucinogens already?!
4.  I have been able to successfully make it out the door before 9am, with both myself and my children fully dressed.  (Okay, fine, so one day I forgot my daughter’s shoes, but I carry her anyway, so this doesn’t count, right?)
5.  I yanked the single stroller from its dusty storage and gave it a whirl.  Bad news for those amazingly buff arm muscles I’m pretty sure are hiding within, but I decided to just go crazy and celebrate having only one child in my care and give the double stroller the blow-off.
6.  I can pee with the door closed and not have to nervously kegel-stop every two seconds in fear that someone is hitting someone else over the head with a toy.
7.  My math skills will vastly improve.  For the past 13 months, it had solidly been Mommy +2.  Now there will be a lot more counting to keep track.  Now that someone else has responsibility for my son 5 hrs./wk., +1 is now an option.  Mommy has got to be on her game to keep track.
8.  If I find myself running out of things to obsess over, I can now solely devote my mental space to creative brainstorming for fulfilling my duty of bringing a wholesome snack for the preschool class while avoiding the bevy of bizarre food allergies.  Would it be too weird to take in empty bowls and tell the children to enjoy imaginary snacks of their choosing?  Very little risk of hives that way, I would think…
9.  I can grocery shop without that dastardly beast of a car cart.
I’ve got this, I’ve so got this

10.  I’ve got a new clock to beat.  If working overtime to meet calorie, exercise, and blog stat goals weren’t enough, I can push myself to new heights by trying to get there on top for drop-off AND pick-up.  Maybe even a minute early?  Hold onto your seats, my friends, because this Mom of the Year really is going to bring it.
In short, this is all very good news.  God bless preschool, the amazing life-changing force that it is.
This was originally published on The Mom of the Year.
More About Meredith: Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, dedicatedly earning her title one epic parenting fail at a time.  When her kids aren't busy pummeling each other with legos or requiring their 16th sippy cup refill of the day, she tries to offer quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents of the world and all their empathizers.  She remains entirely terrified by crafts, promises to never share any useful household tips, and is fully committed to a less serious look at the world of parenting.

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