What I Say Vs. What They Hear

I need a translator. Even though my kids and I speak the same language, apparently we don’t speak the same language.

What I say: “Let’s go, please, we’re running late.”
What they hear: “We have all the time in the world. Yes, you can watch 6 more shows. And please, definitely take an hour to pick out your clothes. While you’re at it, don’t forget to dump your milk on the table, ask for three more breakfasts, and tell me you have to poop as I’m opening the front door to leave. Oh, and why don’t you go ahead and throw an epic tantrum in there.”

What I say: “It’s time to clean up.”
What they hear: “It’s time to play and make an even bigger mess around here. Don’t worry, I’ll clean it all up later when you suddenly develop a sick tummy and a leg that feels like it’s going to fall off. Oh, and why don’t you go ahead and throw an epic tantrum in there.”
What I say: “Please be quiet for 2 minutes while I’m on the phone.”
What they hear: “Please scream at each other in voices that should only be used if you’re being chased by a bear, and use this time to ask me 101 questions about why we have fingernails. Oh, and why don’t you go ahead and throw an epic tantrum in there.”

Writing Advice From a Bunch of Kick Ass Mom Bloggers

Well, it's 2014 and it's time to set some writing goals. Problem is, we obviously took too long of a break over the holidays, because today we can't write anything.

Are you a writer who can't write? Is your brain a jumble of things you'd like to get down on paper, but you can't? Or worse, is your mind a big black hole with nothing in there except a deadline looming over your head?

We've all been there, haven't we? Just today this exact topic came up between my fellow Kick Ass Bloggers and we all started sharing our best tips to beat the block.

When we were done, we realized we had some really great words of wisdom that should be shared with the world. So here we are. Hopefully, something will work for you. If it doesn't, just know you're in the same boat as a bunch of us.

Hello? Is it Keys You're Looking For?

I suffer from short term memory loss. It runs in my family; at least I think it does. Where are they? - Dory, Finding Nemo

Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food. - Austin O'Malley

A retentive memory may be a good thing, but the ability to forget is the true token of greatness. - Elbert Hubbard