I Just Want to Be Alone

I have big news, everyone! Remember last year when I put out the anthology I Just Want to Pee Alone? Have you read it yet? Yes? Great. Thank you. Did you leave a review yet? Because those things are ridiculously helpful to me and the Kick Ass Bloggers. Have you never read it? Why not? What are you waiting for? Are you new here and you've never heard of it? Well, first of all, welcome and second of all, you're going to want that book, so here's where you can get it. Plus, it's on sale, because the powers that be at Amazon deemed it so and I have no idea how long this sale will last, so you might want to hurry.

Because IJWTPA was such a fun thing and a great success I decided to do another one! Last time we wrote about our kids and never being able to pee alone. This time it's the men in our lives who just won't leave us alone. I don't know about you, but I crave me some alone time. I need it like men need sex. I just want a good book, a hot cup of tea, and an hour to myself. Hell, even twenty minutes to wander aimlessly through the aisles of Target alone without the Hubs saying "We don't need curtains" or "Skip the shoe aisle, we're on a time table here" or "Haven't you spent enough already?" would be fantastic.

Things I Used to Do Alone

1. Just picture it; you finally get to take that nice, hot shower you have been thinking about taking all morning. You get in, oooohhhh, the water feels so nice! You start washing your hair. At this point your head is covered in lather, and your eyes are closed to prevent the scalding of the eyes by the shampoo. You hear the door open and you think to yourself, "Oh, he must be coming in to try to catch a glimpse of my hotness" (that does happen at your house, doesn't it?). Then you feel the curtain open. The cold blast of bathroom air seeps in and you think, "Damn, couldn't he just wait till I get out of the shower?” You rinse your hair just as the snickers begin. You start to think "You asshole, you sneak into MY shower, and now you’re going to laugh at me? I know things just aren't where they used to be, but DAMN! I have given birth to 5 of your offspring, the least you can do is keep your damn giggles to yourself!” You get your eyes cleared of all the poisons, and then you realize...your 2 year old is laughing at you. Awesome.