The Groundhog Days of Our Lives

I met the hilarious Leslie from I Blame Enjoli! when she participated in the Kansas City Listen to Your Mother show. This was the piece she read to close out the show and bring down the house.

Once heard that the average toddler hears the word “no” over 200 times in one day. Yeah well, who do you think is saying it? Remember that movie with Bill Murray where he wakes up and keeps having the same day over and over? Of course you do, if you are a mother, it is the story of your life!

Here are just a few of the things I repeat daily:

Parenting Advice From Kim Kardashian

Like, amazing! Being a Mom is like the most amazing thing I’ve ever done.  It’s totally better than divorce and doing nothing all day. My baby is amazing, especially when the baby nurse holds her.

So cool how so many of you are interested in what we’re going to name her.  Like, duh! It’s totally going to start with a “K.”  She’s part of the brand now.   I’m thinking we name her “Kalabasas,” because that’s the best city in the state of Los Angeles, but Kanye wants to name her, “Ka-ching!”  He says it’ll rhyme better when he makes an angry rap about her and banks a ton of cash.  But I’m like, “Why rap when you can just film her doing nothing?”  Anyways, it doesn’t really matter what either of us think. We’re a family now. That means my Mom and Ryan Seacrest get to decide.

What NOT to Get Your Mom for Mother's Day

Last week I was trying to think of a Mother's Day present for my mom. I'm 41 years old now and a macaroni necklace just doesn't have the same impact it used to 35 years ago. I felt like every gift I was thinking of was a crappy gift, so I asked my readers on Facebook to tell me the worst Mother's Day gift they ever received just to make sure those weren't the ones I was considering. I got the usual responses of Dustbusters, brooms, step stools, tools, and irons. However, as I scrolled through the hundreds of answers, I noticed the same gift popping up over and over again.