Mother, Interrupted

My children are psychic. And by psychic, I mean that they have the uncanny ability to sense when something is going on that doesn’t involve them, and a specific knack for interruption that is driven entirely by a fear of missing out (FOMO, for the uninitiated). It’s like my children are already teenagers that are constantly worried that an awesome party is going on somewhere that they haven’t heard about. As such, I have compiled a list of the top ten things children can sense intrinsically are going on without them that they simply must interrupt.

Quick, he's on to you! Eat them all at once!
Quick, he’s on to you! Eat them all at once!
  1.  Eating Candy: I have a ridiculous sweet tooth, and like the vast majority of children, so do my kids. There is one particular cabinet in my house, high beyond the line of vision of my children (even when they’re standing on the counter – don’t judge!), where I have a small bountystashed away just for me. Without fail, anytime I manage to sneak a couple of gummy coke bottles or Twizzlers from said stash, my three-year-old, Inspector Sweets, materializes out of thin air, sniffing around and prying open my hands. “What’s going on over here? What are you eating? What do you have there? I smell something sweet!” He is truly talented and will make a fabulous detective someday, assuming the case involves something missing that is composed entirely of sugar.